D.B. Pooper

Eartha Kitteh once saved my life! One of the pilot lights on the stove had gone out, and she woke me up by vomiting as the apartment filled with gas. We would both be 100% dead if it wasn’t for the fact that you can NEVER sleep through the sound of a cat vomiting.

As a Justice Officer in the Brazilian Judiciary system, allow me to try to explain the legal aspects of this, since other commenters seem to be confuse by how it’s possible a man convicted to 22 years to be released after 4 years.

The Jets actually started recruiting Hightower while he was still a member of the Patriots by leaving a couple of cupcakes on his schedule each year.

First kid comes in with Swag Level on Expert.

GSP is never, ever going to step into a cage with Yoel Romero or Jacare Souza or Luke Rockhold. It’s not going to happen. Firas Zahabi would have a fucking aneurysm before he let GSP get in there with a 220-pound monster in his prime.

They’re getting the fuck out of the dugout since apparently that’s where the jackass is aiming with the bat flip.

Ben Carson used to confuse the fuck out of me. Then I saw ‘Get Out’, and NOW he makes sense.

Reuben, what happened at the combined?!

You can’t get so fiery this early. This is bananas, Foster.

I truly needed that calm Brit to politely guide me through the proceedings. Let’s all be thankful El Niño is stable, and that Ray Hudson wasn’t doing the color commentary (“...a tragisteeeeerial collision!”).

No.

Given his numbers you might say that Bishop going to the Kings is a lateral move, but I’m pretty sure when it comes to Bishop it can only be diagonal.

Teams are probably banking on him walking away at the end of his contract. But they should know better than assuming he’ll be able to walk.

This is good. That is a good hockey man. She is a good human. All of this is good.

Athletes doing really nice things for kids will never get old and will restore my faith in humanity EVERY TIME. End of the day, it’s tough to remember, but most people are pretty cool.

Looks like it’s Famine time in the Feaster household

Jared Kushner looks like the perfect, caring fiancé in a L&O SVU episode who is later revealed to have been kidnapping all those brunettes and dressing them up in his late mother’s clothes.