IRISH QUIT FUCKING THE RABBIT!

When he dials the payphone with the knife, it gets me every time.

INSIDE BULLS LOCKER ROOM

With $1.2 million, she can live beside the ocean.

So Ditka was slightly more careful with his cigars than he was with his quarterbacks.

That's funny. Now that I'm on the other side of 40, I feel like a champ when it only takes me five strokes to reach the hole.

Needs more Narnia.

Perhaps with "Only when high," "NEVER when high," and "Yes, if you find profane, racist 10-year-olds with terrible parents entertaining."

Wow, I didn't think Greg Schiano could be worse at something other than coaching.

This is truest comment ever written in Kinja. Take 5 contains ingredients from the chocolate group, the caramel group, the peanut AND peanut butter groups, and the chip group. There is no taste bud that it does not seduce.

What kind of socialist, Alinksytard propagandist thinks he can just waltz right in, seize the Kings logo, and denigrate it for his own needs instead of respecting the property rights of the owners who have worked long and hard to denigrate that logo for years?

I work at home, too, and it's windy as hell here today, so EVERY sound is a break-in by a psycho who has a Sharpie where his hand used to be.

I think the fan said, "The sheriff is near."

If the NFL was really serious about stopping domestic violence, they would have made a PSA where a rabid Ray Lewis threatens to kill anyone who strikes a woman.

Exactly. It's like saying you shouldn't make homemade sex tapes because that's what got Bob Crane killed.

This is a great development for the Jets, who now have a legitimate reason for refusing their fans' request to eat shit and die.

"I had Nicholson and Beatty and Hoffman over and we were putting tennis racquets inside each other's wives" almost killed me until I was dead.

This definitely seems like the Falcons: a second and long followed by a third where they are nowhere near the marker.

He also has the greatest cameo of all time in Zombieland.

I think they get to bring one personal item within reason. But given that no one has brought matches, I think they must have restrictions on what they bring.