You're welcome. It truly is a sacrifice.

I don't know anything about the rest of the country's conditions, but I pretty much stayed in Utah so I could ski all the time. Temps have rarely dipped below 40F all winter and it is fucking 60 degrees today. I guess it's suicide for me.

I'm glad that at least for you, they're only moments of sorrow. My son usually makes me drag him out of the store, leaving finger nails embedded in the floors.

I was wondering that too. I don't know if they're even in the grocery stores I frequent.

My Trappist tale of extremely boring woe: I go to the liquor store about once a month and buy a variety of beverages for fun. I like the idea of drinking more than I like the blackouts, the hangovers, or even buzzes, so I'll get a couple bottles of different things, usually based on how high the in-store rankings are.…

Not very relevant to the article, but that is a bad ass Wheaties box cover. 10/10, would idolize while munching.

I am massively, ass-fuckingly biased here, as the owner of a 3 year old boy who needs to try everything, but little boys are the cutest god damn things in all the universe.

Jesus christ. So....sticktospurts or whatever, but I've never seen this before and I think I just turned gay. ...Er.

I'm far, far better at quitting than these so-called world-class quitters. Don't even try to challenge me, because I've mastered trying the absolute scientifically minimal amount possible.

This is good concourse blogging.

Pete Rose TOTALLY took dives. I know he says he didn't, but fuck him. He did.

She likely could have shaved and/or trimmed a second or two off that 1:53.28 mark if she'd trimmed and/or shaved back that glorious hairy monument to gender equality peaking out of her armpits, if you call that living. You go, Jarmila!

Holy shit, this is beautiful.

Filed to science MAYBE?! This is the lord and savior of the pro-science movement. Oh you of little faith. At least you subscribe to the holy twitter feed of Black Science Man. I assign you the reading of ten recent I Fucking Love Science articles, and may science have mercy on your soul (if you have one, which you…

Being a fan of another Eastern conference team means I'm contractually obliged to hate Lebron, but the league is dumb and bad without him around being awesome. He's my own NBA Darth Vader...invincible and evil and totally god damn awesome.

Just the thought of all that raw surging effort by redditors makes me wonder why the hell I should care.

Jesus christ, I have a Patrick renting a room in my home. He gives off a bit of the "compulsive 'bator" vibe already, so this is going to give me nightmares. Off to sanitize every surface in the house, yaaay!

He set a record. Not a "modern" record, or the best quarter since something Wilt or Jordan did, or tied the mark, or what-fucking-ever. Holy shit.

This is good concourse blogging.

I want to give you puppies and roses all the livelong day!