I would bet my vast, non-existent fortune that the demographic that read Slam and Scoop Jackson was a lot more fucking vanilla than you think.

HE DOES!

Frankly, the guy could probably get himself unbanned and undespised if he got rid of that god awful hair. Even a bald head would be better than the patch of dead turf he glued onto his scalp about 20 years ago. Some pedant should point out to me that he's wearing a hat in the included photo.

I'm a terrorist, and would really like to speak to the effectiveness of the credit card knives.

He now rejects a diagnosis of bipolar disorder. No worries, Delonte, every other person diagnosed with bipolar disorder ALSO rejects it. You and millions of others can't be wrong, right? You have mastered self-awareness, right? The miserable loved ones surrounding you are just delusional assholes, right?

Wow. So...mma is subhuman violenceporn for entertaining neanderthals, but that video was ridiculously awesome. Golf clap, my dear pugilist, golf clap.

I like to finish off my crude sex jokes in the dugout with, "EH? SEX? EH?". I mean, I did. Before I was kicked off the team, and three weeks past when I could have gotten my dues refunded. Fuck Utah!

Bland comment admitting vague enjoyment of image, plus addendum reminding smug Cardinal fans to fuck off.

Way to honestly summarize your baseball career, MJ.

I've got a fantastic strategy for helping my son avoid football-related brain injuries; prevent him from playing artificial, unbalanced, moronic, penalty-riddled, made-for-television football. I'm reminded every spring of how much better sports like basketball are. Actual sports aren't commercial-delivery vehicles.…

Please let this happen.

How in the everliving fuck is the "he gone" guy (I'm an NL guy, sorry, no idea who) allowed to be within 7,000 miles of anything baseball related? My god. This commenter doesn't normally condone mob justice...unless it gets results.

It is a fucking crime against all that is awesome that I'm finding out about this right now. The last one was actually the best one.

Of course not, those are just the major bullet points. I didn't need to learn to be loyal, where the clitoris is located, or to help with the housework, but I'm sure there's something.

This is kind of a threadjack since the original post isn't about divorce..but a follow-up: turns out being attractive doesn't make sex automatically awesome. Ex would just lie there and complain, while I would enthusiastically be ineffective because she made no effort. Post-break-up, I discovered there were females…

It's sad to see you haven't had as uplifting an experience as I have post-divorce (saw your other comment). But you're better off without the asshole. Also, as a crazy cat guy myself who tends to rule potential dates out if they like dogs more than cats, you can and will get dates because I'm not the only one. Get out…

What's that saying about the best day of boat ownership being the day you sell it? Exactly.

My marriage was an hilarious opposite of that. Hot wife demanded open relationship from me, the fat husband. Fat husband says okay I'll lose weight and do whatever it takes to keep our relationship healthy and monogamous. Wife cheats without hesitation before anything can be worked out. Fat husband divorces hot wife.…

Thanks fellow Indiana fans. You have generally good to awesome sports teams that I love to watch, and an enthusiastic dedication to looking like ignorant hick retards whenever the cameras catch you. Glad I moved away.

It would be satisfying to know you all secretly record each other for racist comments. Please confirm.