Y'know, tired as I am of reading about the sad exploits of this fam when it's part of empty gossip, I would SO pay cold hard dollars to read a well researched, well written biography of Clan Lohan.

I actually think these are oddly adorable. I guess it's the colors and the fact that they're going the more "innocent" MLP route with the styling. SO not my thing, but I'm sure there's lots of smarmy hardcore pony play stuff out there that would squick me, and this just makes me want to (consensually) pat her on the…

I wonder if it has been provided courtesy of Goldman Sachs, perhaps as a way for them to ensure some damage control or distancing of themselves in further media coverage?

Biggest problem for me is publicly mocking her daughter's friends for not having dads. WTF? Lady, you really don't sound like you know how to BE an adult, let alone raise one.

99. You aren’t entitled to sh*t — nada. You get what you earn.

"This list is Everything. It has it all — it's offensive, but boring! It's infuriating, but banal! I don't know how this junior mint male managed to pull it off, but he did."

Real Talk, Cavalli: why do you hate my retinas? What the fuck did my sweet, sweet cones and rods do to you??

Every time I see a Fallon clip or watch a Seth-Meyers-only version of Weekend Update, it makes me realize HOW GREAT Tina Fey and Amy Poehler are.

Pretty common. Even has a name with some producers: "the Chubby Chat".

Um, why does the male silhouette half of the "core-sex" illustration look like my geriatric, potbellied dad's stretching routine as he gets out of bed in his tshirt and boxer shorts?

I like Sergei. But methinks I will skip this and just rewatch one of his better, previous works ((KINJA-ED!! won't post my Opposite of Sex poster, insert mentally here...))

My favorite line of "pillow talk" dialog from this "sexy":

"Has-Issues."

I prefer his brother, Incontinent Walker.

DON JON. STAHHHP.

..in which case, I hope I get it when I'm, like, in a mall food court or on jury duty or something, because that random high five would be awesome out of nowhere ;-)

Well there are probably a ton, but my android one is called "Period Tracker", and when I picked p my sister's iphone last week she had the same one, so I'm guessing it's pretty popular. Free, too!

Ah, got ya. I'm sorry, I had a friend who had that in highschool (from being TOO fit, apparently — she was an athlete) and it was stressful for her, as well. I hope you get on some sort of reliable schedule, soon!

I have that same app!

Oh, shit, that cat is druuunnnnnk.