The average quality of men from Nevada and Tennessee one would think.

All dogs go to heaven. But people don’t have souls.

HELL YES!

I’m pretty fancy as well. I have actually had coworkers ask me to ‘lower the bar’ at my old job. Not all of them of course, some of them enjoyed my flair and would bring me pieces that they bought and never wore or that an older relative had saved. If I were a different person I’d probably have moved to the south…

This is Millihelen. It’s not supposed to be news.

go be an asshole elsewhere

This is exactly the slippery-slope that the GOP warned us would happen if we legalized same-sex marriage!! First deviant homosexuals, now dolphins and gorillas!! What’s next, kitchen appliances!? I will have none of Bed Bath & Beyond’s hidden agenda!

Which makes it more upsetting that we’re keeping them in cages, honestly. These are our cousins. Let’s release our cousins.

I’m starring this because that joke was fucking terrible, and I love it.

I’m a straight dude, and god dammit, that really is one handsome gorilla.

so i know how closely our DNA resembles primates but it legit freaks me out how much the faces/expressions they make look like human faces/expressions

I’m (sadly) not nearly as fabulous as you, but if I had a fucking nickle for every time someone told me I was “too fancy” for something, I’d be a damn millionaire.

When I saw her first dress, I’ll admit that I did that thing that all girls do and squealed, OOH, IT HAS POCKETS.

Rest In Penis, Dick Matt.

And if we’re not criminals? Just wondering for a friend...

Not a felon- but can I have a sexy horse cop chase me down? Because the uniforms, well the uniforms do it for me.

Constable. What a fitting place for a fugitive to be apprehended.

Or perhaps he needed a Tim Horton’s fix.

I’m truly amazed they weren’t halfway through Canada at this point. What the hell, criminals? It was right there.