It's damned expensive to sew, now. When I was in H.S., it was considered part of being well-rounded to be able to make your own sundresses, skirts, knit your own sweaters, etc. (Yes, we had the Martha Thing going on before Martha was a Thing.) But that was before fast fashion, and the cost of good fabrics and…

That schoolyard chant never ends, does it? "You do XXX like a guuu-uuurrrrllll...."

Heh. My grandfather wore white socks and my father considered it hopelessly old-fashioned and just-off-the-boat. So my father wore black socks. My brothers considered this hopelessly old-fashioned and mid-century, so they wear white socks. My hipster nephew considers white socks with athletic shoes hopelessly…

I just said that in David Sedaris's voice, picturing David dressed like a Christmas elf doing so.

The Illuminati Space Time Continuum. It's a Good/GOOP thing.

Has anyone seen them in the same room? At the same time?

How many fruit flies can appear out of nowhere when you put blueberries in a toy refrigerator? Multitudes. Swarms. Clouds. Thousands.

Something something drive traffic something something sheeple.

We dyslex the same way, I see.

This was happening in my MIL's neighborhood before she moved. The thieves were targeting the elderly — the 84 year old woman next door was in bed with her crippled husband and she lay there silently, all 85 pounds of her quaking with fright, while they calmly rifled her house (this freaks me out to this day). My MIL…

//wins room with toned arms before she says a word

It's ridiculous but also sad... so many people mistreat animals the shelters have to come to this, because you know they don't have time to sit around making up this shit, it's caused by bad experiences. We privately adopted our dog, a former blue-ribbon show dog who could not compete because of an arthritis bone…

"As soon as you trust yourself, you will know how to live." – Goethe

Excellent closing sentence (see what I did, there). I used to hate-watch snippets of the show from time to time, wondering what it was about him that gave me the creeps. The Duggar patriarch gives me the same squicky feeling.

Here's the thing with internet dating...

Thank you for the view from the other side of the fence. It's funny, though, that all these online dating apps became available just as the old social fabric (Saturday Night Bingo, etc.) was more or less disappearing. I was widowed at a young age. I was working a ton of hours, traveling extensively for business,…

Oh, there were a fair share of creeps back then, too (100%, actually, until Chmn. Meow). It was a little social experiment — a few of us at my workplace were navigating it together — and I kind of felt done with it, and only re-posted my profile to piss off my psycho ex (it did; his profile was back up the day…

I have a friend in the same situation. She, too, assumes that a mature relationship will materialize out of thin air in some sort of rom-com fantasy. (Chmn. Meow and I met on match.com almost 14 years ago and she knows this.) I tried to explain the efficiencies of the meet online thing, including how to avoid the…

Wow, the Friday lady deserves a chip implanted in her inner ear with a constant loop of Rebecca Black singing about the day she doesn't know exists. Also: what happens when she and Sunday Brunch collide?

No, bra-tucking is very convenient. In the summer. Not so much with turtlenecks.