@Walk Off HBP: Tom Jackson:

Uh, I'm not sure how much I would enjoy being inside that thing when the nose lurches a full 90 degrees, then back again.

If you're not doing anything wrong you have nothing to worry about, so I'm told...

@d1zzle: True... or a box cutter.

Dang. As a habitual user of marijuana who is often seen muttering to himself, I better keep my shit on the down low for a while.

Why do I suddenly feel like putting on some Ohio Players? Oh, that's right..

That's pretty amazing. Already people get duped in to giving their information to scammers online.... even on sites that are protected by username/password. This is like giving a crate of dynamite to phishers. I can't see how this cold go wrong....u

@hodayathink is walking in the glow of love: Oh that's wonderful. So, someone who claims to be someone you know sends you a link to 'join them in a chat'..... I don't see how this could possibly be used by hackers.

Reminds me of when I worked for this company in China called Foxconn.

They say you can tell how a man is in bed by his golf swing. This guy's signature move: Donkeypunch.

Lol. Well you're a flippin hero in MLB if you can get on base 33% of the time.

You're pretty lucky because I pay for every check and my wife still complains I didn't put enough thought in our plans. You can imagine how thrilled I am about Mother's Day coming up.

@Bevraj of Choice: Sorry for trolling your comment but this reminds me of a time when I went to a bar and there was this pretty young thing dressed in Jager garb handing out key chains, or bottle openers, or something. I got to talking to her and was feeling pretty bold until she brought up her kid, who was at home,…

Is Tom his middle name?

The Jezebelians are mounting their soapboxes as I write this.

Dear Kevin Durant,

Dumb luck. I was at the game and the concession guy behind home plate happened to yell, "Who wants a malted?!" just as Martin let the ball get by him.