oh god, I've long said that oysters have a texture like cum.

Are you saying you want to go ON A BREAK?

If by the Ross Geller of rap you mean the hottest guy around then yes, Madeleine, I AGREE.

Somehow I managed to make it through 4 years of undergrad without getting kicked out of class for eating. Maybe the backwater community college known as Georgetown University just isn't on par with the seriousness of the "Canadian Ivies."

With a lunch choice like that, you were practically saying "bahn mi from this lunch room." *BA-DUM-TSCH*

One of the Jackson girls? It's JANET (Ms. Jackson if you're nasty).

I work for the gov't. People love to say 'BUT I PAY YOUR SALARY'. My less snarky come back is 'well, yes, I pay my own salary too' and my 'I'm feeling mean' reply is 'A penny covers your portion of my ENTIRE division's salary for the next 10 years'.

I know liberal activist guys who blatantly write themselves passes on anything sexist. You say "That's offensive. I'm offended." They reply "What are you talking about? I'm ALL FOR equality! Now, what about my "free Mumia" bikini car wash idea? It'll be totally ironic, ladies!"

"Remember the days when Bob Filner spent two months in jail because of his actions as a Freedom Rider in the south? That seems like a different dude." I strongly disagree with this sentiment. There are plenty of men who don't think that sexual harassment has anything to do with rights or equality. The idea that women…

This is me looking at Tyson in 100 degree weather:

Dionne's man will be sat-is-fied, virgin or not.

Yeah, but I forgave the miniseries when they did that shot of Darcy coming out of the water.

Aw yeah.

The only Brooklyn girl that mattered.

My vagina doesn't want zucchinis. It didn't care for it the one time I tried force feeding it.

Yogurt. SUCKS.

Look for 'rebeldechannel' on YouTube. You're welcome.

Seriously, why would they pick this one. This novela just amped up high school virgin self's paranoia of accidental pregnancies (I have "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant" for that now). Rebelde was my jam! I watched it everyday in college (and I made my roommate's non-hispanic boyfriend watch it with me to help teach him…

No, no, no, you have to watch the Argentinian original, Rebelde Way! THAT one was waaaay better. You can find it on YouTube, I believe.

Damn my personal chef. He's cutting onions again.