"You'd have to be blind to think that Woodbury is purposely poking people's eyes. Then again, he has blinded several opponents. Let me get back to you on that."

People are over complicating what happened. Pete Carroll was trying to outsmart Belichick by passing in an obvious run situation. The hallmark of a great team is being able to do what everyone knows is coming and be successful anyway. Everyone in the world knew Beast Mode was coming so Carroll wanted to get cute…

"I'm just here so I won't get fired." — Marcus Hayes

"You want me to dress up?"

Well, shit...

I feel like the appropriate response would be Lowery kicking him in the balls and raising his arms to signal a good kick.

Much like Tom Ley, a good Samaritan knows how to "education" his fellow man.

Jim Tomsula is NOT part of Mama's Legion and will NOT have his spoon in their soup. He wants you to know that.

Kobe and KG nod angrily.

"Why can't Del Rio and Sparano be co-head coach? When we cut players Del Rio could chop 'em up and Sparano could bury them." — Mark Davis

Pro Bowl 2015: Team Roger Goodell vs. Team Ray Rice

"Only I get to dick kids!" — Roman Polanski

"Don't you know what off the record means?!? It means don't print or record what I say and do. Just like when we're out shooting minorities.! Don't you know anything???" — Sheriff Ward

"Update: Body-Rollin' Mop Boy appears to have been a plant, because nothing good can ever really happen in this world." In related news, Tom Ley is a moron.

Mike YeOLO

"FGK: Fuck, Gronk, Kill" The latest in Gronk erotica, now available on Amazon.

Kriss Kross wore their clothes backward and these guys spell their name backwards. I'm sure Kriss Kross were "determined to stick around for way longer" too.

Somehow I can see the Bucs taking him #1 so he can be comfortable by staying in Florida. All the free crab legs and MRSA you could want!

Considering the khakis are moving to Ann Arbor, I would say it was a neatly pressed release.