Don't fake the Shump on a nasty dunk!

"My past is littered with the bones of men who were foolish enough to think I was someone they could sleep on." Hey, Keyser Soze, how many times did you practice that in front of a mirror?

We're moving on to Cincinnati.

"You can tell my Dream Shake is the white version because it brings no boys to the yard." — Dirk

"Wait, do we stop tanking or continue to tank even harder?" — Terry Pegula

This is going to put ESPN's new show "Josh.0", hosted by Josh McDaniels, in a very awkward position.

Guys like these are the reason the NHL has cracked down on diving this season.

SON OF SERIAL MURDERER SCORES FIRST COLLEGE POINT

"Not one sprained ankle, not two, not three, not four..." - - LBJ predicts D. Rose's season.

I'm really disappointed in the lack of Madison Bumgarner coverage on Deadspin. Get it together!

ITT: Heros, Florrida, Jameis

I'd suggest an amber alert with that complexion.

"Sorry to make things awkward, but I'd also like to mention that the Spin Doctors reunion tour will hit the road right after this series is over. Tickets are still available. Thanks."

The Giants can go fuck themselves! Am I doing this right?

It's not corny, it's just sad. Must be a strange locker room atmosphere.

Maybe they're trying to emphasize the speed in which he would like to move the team to Seattle?

I watched my Tigers endure a long layoff and a subsequent thrashing by the Cards (2006) and Giants (2012). Hope you guys can pull off what we couldn't. Good luck from Motown!

The Immaculate JaMarcus Russell!

D...D...P!!!

Nobody. Cares. Bro.