Great, Peng Shuai ruins another room.

Interviewer: Are you a fan of Real Madrid?

I hate to be that guy, Tom, but if we're covering Chicago mascots, you somehow left out the worst and most cartoonish of them all:

Usually when a ref screws up a call that bad it’s Triplette’s.

I mean, Sam is a championship dumbass, so that played a role in it, yes.

He has lost a few pounds in recent years, so I'll say four? He's short and compact, which I think helps in the leverage department. But I think he'd be squirming and stuff the whole time, which affects balance and focus.

Which has more hopelessly broken fixtures: Todd Haley's rented house or the Redskins front office?

The fallacy of this show is that price is definite. The contestants must predict how the public values the good, and sometimes they err. This was clear in the pricing game when Judy bid $500 for an ice pack.

Jurisdictional analysis: Defendant can properly sue in federal court, as Victim subjected to repeated and frequent contact under Shoe.

If we're going just by the frequency and timing with which he uses it, I'm guessing that "Omaha" usually means, "Yes, in exchange for payment, I will endorse that."

You know where the brewers fucking suck? Milwaukee.

Considering the possible ramifications of going to a movie in Colorado, the first person I'd invite is my shooting guard.

Pastor Tim: My flock, I guarantee you one thing: Mass in a short amount of time.

all the chargers fan are rn

"That explains all the know-it-all bitching, right?"
[Turns to high-five nobody]
[Stirs drink with found, soiled syringe]

-David Chao

This is just unacceptable. A vertical cell phone video? In 2014? Seriously? Turn your phone sideways when you record, people. We're not animals.

Let's see what else the Tonys had to say about it:

Personally, I'm tired of people coming to the defence of a man whose reputation is tarnished beyond repair, and for good reason. Once a leader, over time, the man transformed into a villain and a poster boy for a conflict between what is right and what is ethically erroneous and misguided. His actions have not only…

[Remains seated; hopes nobody is looking]

They should develop some sort of sticky substance that could be applied to the track to stop things from sliding around. I have no idea how you'd make something like that, though.

Please, as if Saints getting mauled before an arena of rabid spectators is news these days.