"Wow, dude. You scored three whole seventeens? Impressive!"

Man, I wonder which team official was behind The Wheel. Hopefully not Jason Kidd.

Seriously, leave it to Newton to fail to see the gravity in the situation. Prick.

Newton: [Fits himself into mold]

a supremely talented athlete who doesn't fit nicely into any kind of mold

nice tweet by King at the end, a season saver. good for him, he needed that.

"Num num?"

Candice: It's okay if you that's too much for you, Hawkins. After all, Daddy has trouble with finishing too. That's why I call you our little miracle.

Unless ribbed, thin plastic ponchos have a way of getting women damp instead of soaked.

That's not fair, weather. - Fan

Once again, Deadspin uses a grossly misleading headline. The game is still in the 1st quarter; it is irresponsible journalism to make it sound like this play will be the summary of awful Jets plays today.

In a way this a bit out of character for ESPN. They hold Pro and College Football's proverbial jock so much that them putting this horrible juxtaposition right up front and center is just surprising.

[coach throws kid at couch]

Joe chose 7-11 because, for once, he wanted to be sure that when he got to it, it would still be open.

@TeamFlacco

Had Varlamov been found guilty, Avalanche center Matt Duchene was looking at a 6-8 month sentence

As a Jets fan, I think Brady was injury prone and had a poor work ethic. Always on the sideline in that damn chair.

19. Shit! I just got hit by a car!

Wow, there people are crazy. The only legitimate reason to try to kill a football player is to impress Arian Foster.

That's a hell of an overreaction to something as trivial as a Fantasy Football game.