I thought the only player subject to the Uniform Code was Kellen Winslow.

Obviously I don't think we ought to rush to judgment, but it's awfully suspicious the way they can't seem to keep their story straight. What have they got to hide? I mean, come on. There's no gray area here. No room for equivocation. They should just hold a press conference, out in the open for everyone to see, and…

Whoa. He's eating at Cheesecake Factory? $13 million won't be nearly enough.

Well, you've lost Donovan McNabb.

Well if you didn't think cheerleading was worth much before, the Oakland Raiders have definitely set you straight today.

I guess there's not much point in doing this with racial slurs.

I know we all like to scoff at Darren Rovell's obsession with branding, but there's no denying that JMan2 Enterprises, L.L.C. has proven very popular with Browns fans. Misery loves company.

Oh, please. Like Bill Bradley knows anything about running.

Is that right, Tom? Well, why don't you try telling my husband to pay attention to the Cubs? He always neglects them once football season comes around.

Generous? Absolutely. But the Bengals could clearly afford it, since they're no longer paying for Carson Palmer's Kimo.

Have you ever even been close to pure, single-minded joy?

+1

Unfortunately, despite numerous sightings across the Las Vegas metro area, younger brother and notorious maimed highwayman Slot Machine remains at large.

Steve Patterson is already pointing to the lightning strikes as an example of the dangers of unionization.

Oh, please. Why should Muschamp have suspended anyone for this game? He's obviously a tougher disciplinarian than Idaho's coach, who appears to be just fine with fielding an entire team of vandals.

Jeez, the ESPN circus really has gotten out of hand. It's like the only name anyone knows on this team anymore is Michael Sam's.

Is there anything more demoralizing than a guy finding himself Knoblauching balls that he'd spent years throwing cleanly?

[prints entire inbox]

This sort of treatment isn't that unusual in the Pac-12. Like at Oregon, where players get called all kinds of duck words.

+1