they just need to switch to the new credit cards that the rest of the world uses and we wouldn't have this problem in the first place!

Cute kid enjoys cereal on TV—-EVERYBODY PANIC THIS IS NOT A DRILL.

Oh my God, I love the way I smell. I first realized it while working in a medical supplies factory "clean room" wearing one of these badboys:

one of my favorite exes had a beard... I always used to tell him "wash your face before you hug your mother" as he was leaving my house in the mornings...

The Crown Estate is not owned by Her Majesty's government, but by the Crown.

I just figured he meant it was boring because baseball is boring.

TO BE FAIR! "The Hill" refers to Capitol Hill, Seattle's charming gayborhood, and Dykes vs Drag Queens is a real thing and that is what they call it. Except that it doesn't suck, so.

OK I'll admit it. I bathe but once a week usually. I have that dry earwax gene that makes your sweat not smell, my shower head is broken and the landlord is taking his sweet ass time getting a plumber round ("Oh, but the tub is so old we can't get parts".... which is total bullshit), and I am just too lazy to run a…

It's possible to be neither sedentary nor go to the gym. And to be sedentary and go to the gym. Your question may be hard to answer.

Sedentary and not going to the gym aren't the same thing.

Mandatory showers for all 6th graders. I don't care that you don't think you smell. MANDATORY.

Didn't he get sober at some point in 2009? Maybe these tweets are from when he was still using and drinking. Anyone who reviewed my social media accounts pre-sobriety could also probably write a snarky article about my ridiculous posts.

GROWN ADULTS CAN NEVER LEARN AND GROW IN THEIR LIFETIMES. ONCE YOU'RE AN ADULT YOU CAN'T POSSIBLY MENTALLY AND EMOTIONALLY MATURE.

So nobody thinks it's blatantly obvious that the "no homo" thing was, I dunno, mocking the statement? Like the way he put it there when it didn't make any sense, WROTE OUT, "Pause," and then further clarified he was straight? Like he was lampooning men who feel the need to specify they're straight and throw out shit…

Who was that guy who didn't support gay marriage for the longest, but then suddenly did, and we gave him a pass?

Oh yeah. The president.

The movement is young. I understand there is a movement on Groupthink that is after this guy. Personally I'm way more upset by what I got to read from other Jezebel posters in that…

This joke will never get old. Every iteration gets cleverer. I love it.

Fuck this. Fuck all of these posts. Fuck them all. Really, Jezebel? How many fucking posts do we need today about how Macklemore shouldn't have won, how KL is the shit and should have won, and how Macklemore only won because he is white?

UTKARSH

Ha, now I see the part about cats being adopted. That makes much, much more sense!