Or at least it is time to avoid explosive and incindiary devices during your “party”. How about a nice sign saying “it’s a boy” or “it’s a girl” or “it’s an indeterminate blob?”

I got a breathless automated call last night warning me that I may have bought yellow peaches from Kroger (I had) and that I needed to return them for a refund immediately. Between buying and the call I had already eaten at least six of them (I’m a glutton when stone fruit is in season) and had only two left. Now I…

“...armed doctors won’t kick down your door and shove hydroxychloroquine pills down your throat.”

Well, unless you look upon chicken wings as your favorite form of sushi...

Empty space? That would be a novelty. I just spent time this afternoon trying to repack the freezer to make space for seven three-cup containers of (truly superior) vegetable beef soup to go along with the three containers of beef goulash from last week. I’d think that my large frozen containers of comestibles will…

“The Texas Rangers are conducting a criminal investigation...”

“A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a…

It is pretty scary that anybody stupid or naive enough to depend on Facebook, or any social media for that matter, for critical information would even be allowed to vote. Isn’t there a law against that? States can prevent convicted felons from voting so why not idiots?

“Put a pickle in it!” sounds like the tag line from a bad sitcom. My solution is to _never_ bring shitty beer into my house. Problem solved. But I still like a good pickle too...

Yes. Yes they would. There is no proven upper limit to stupidity. Scientists studying this have generally given up after a short while and switched to studying early Babylonian textiles.

I was doing that for literally decades before I learned that it was “wrong”. I still start with freshly-ground or chopped beef when I’m making a big pot of chili but when it comes to a quick ragu a lump of frozen is just fine.

I felt my knees popping just watching that video...

“and need to make a return or request a refund”

Or how about straight ethanol in your Kool Aid? What every buzzes your brain.

Sorry. I’m one of those crotchety old folks who write in full sentences and as such they always deserve a period. If the time ever comes when I’m too lazy or have lost too many brain cells to punctuate properly I’ll reconsider.

You mean something like “Land o Lakes spreadable butter with canola oil?” It isn’t all that bad and I do keep a bit of it on hand for cases like this. Sure, it isn’t as good as pre-softened Plugra butter or some serious “real” butter but it is certainly better than mayo (IMHO, of course)

Oh so true! I tried the mayo thing one time and a couple of bites did it for me.. The rest of the sandwich got cut up and fed to the local murder of crows. They didn’t complain but they love old road-kill squirrel too. Butter is the only way to go.

My overall spending has changed very little. Fewer trips to grocery but spending more each time. Spending a bit more trying to get formerly-unthinkable items like face masks and hand sanitizer but less on outside food although I never did spend that much that way. Still stopping by Starbucks more than I should after…

Its a difficult call for me. I’m an old fart but own my home and car have no debts and receive SS, a military pension, and a pension from a post-military occupation. All together they don’t add up to much but it is enough for us to get by on and still save/invest a bit every month so my situation is pretty solid…

Nice comfy cushion. Cheap and easily available. They call it a wheelchair cushion but it works for most anything.

Nice comfy cushion. Cheap and easily available. They call it a wheelchair cushion but it works for most anything.