33. Ability to summon gibbering insane, howling maws of twisted flesh from the non-Euclidean abyss beyond our plane.

I found this gem too :

This is not a sexual activity, this is a psychological activity. If this is puppy-play (and it probably is), a lot of the time it’s not seriously sexual at all. Part of the POINT of it is that it’s innocent; you’re pretending to be something totally innocent and free.

I mean, she said that video games shouldn’t be actively sexist, that seems like an incredibly proportionate response.

One time my cat pissed me off so much I shut her in the laundry room for three hours just to not look at her. As I did so, I told her “And you know why I get to do this? BECAUSE YOU’RE A FUCKING CAT!”

My cat wakes me up with the sounds of her profound existential anxiety.

Does anyone remember the SNL skit where Ronald Reagan was a bumbling idiot on TV, and as soon as the cameras were off he started barking orders like Tommy Lee Jones in The Fugitive? I feel like that scenario isn’t entirely implausible here.

I mentioned on FB that the Texas GOP explicitly condemns homosexual people. People were straight up “NUH_UH!”

Nice try, JONATHAN.

Anyway, Ultron is born and “murders” Jarvis

The cheesecake and the hot chocolate weren't free if you gave it to them.

That would be nice of you. But do you see why it shouldn’t be the responsibility of Japanese people running a Japanese restaurant to explain to white people that they aren’t the same as Chinese people?

Nothing says “stepping out of your comfort zone” more than repeatedly asking why you can’t order lo mein.

Free popcorn in a tray is our early front runner for best bco submission of 2015.

I feel like no matter where you’re from, if you’re attending college you probably ought to know that Tokyo is not in China.

She could totally have an everyday vagina and a special occasion vagina. That’s what I’d do.

This one looks kind of cool, though.