i still don’t know

i love samer

I ask this with immense fondness: u mad

Does that mean you’ve technically done it *counts on fingers* 6 times?

I’m the captain now.

Too bad

Today was fantastic. You guy’s should make this a quarterly thing. Great job to all.

Can we get some thighlights?

I would like to thank all of you for making me completely unproductive today.

Anyone else notice that Deadspin is having its best day ever right now?

I’m not a regular pooper. I go maybe 2-3 times a week, and it’s not uncommon for me to go a week without taking a shit. I’ve been to the doctor, they say it’s fine but to keep track of how often I go. So for the past 4 years or so, I’ve kept track of my pooping. Maybe a year and a half ago, my boyfriend went to Vegas…

The grossest thing your body has ever done is eat a 1 lb bag of black twizzlers.

Finally I get to share my story publicly in a setting where people WANT to hear it!!! In December 2014, I started having really massive stomach cramps. I thought perhaps I had eaten something bad, or was PMSing, but these cramps were constant. I couldn’t sleep, I stopped being able to eat. I couldn’t stand up…

Fucking CHEW YOUR FOOD

I had a stubbornly antibiotic resistant C-Diff infection. Which did awful things. It lasted for most of 2 years, and it’s hard to talk about because it was a bit traumatic and I was delirious with fever for most of that time. But basically, I had explosive, uncontrollable diarrhea for 2 fucking years non-stop. Not…

Two weeks postpartum, taking a shower, trying to avoid even touching the fiery pus-oozers that were my nipples (thanks breastfeeding), when I feel something fall out of me, followed by a THUNK on the floor of the bathtub. I look down and see a baseball-sized blood clot. And because I was sleep deprived and hungry and…

Well this was gross and semi-impressive too. When I gave birth to my first I had to be induced. My labor wasn’t progressing like they wanted so the Dr came in to break my water. She told me that I might feel a little trickle and then there was an audible pop and my water sprayed out a good three feet from my body. The…