Sweet god in heaven

I feel like I can’t compete with the writer’s story, but for me it was a period/virus combo. I had clots the size of guinea pigs dropping out of my vagina as I sat shaking on the toilet shitting my brains out while throwing up into a trashcan.

Given birth.

I actually can't even picture how you wipe your ass while sitting. Like, I reach my hand pretty much into the toilet bowl under my balls? What if I took an enormous shit that is peaking above the water? Why would anyone risk that? I wasn't even aware sitting to wipe was a thing people did. What the actual fuck.

Are you Sir Lancelot? Because I believe you just found the Holy Grail.

The “getting hit by” problem could’ve easily been solved with “Bean.”

Oh, I dunno, I kinda think that’s what to do.

Dang it, this was gonna be an Adequate Man post, but I decided not to sit on it over the weekend. Gotta get these laundry takes out while they’re hot.

If you woke up after noon, nobody gives a fuck if you are confused.

Wow, you got them all right, in the correct order, the first time! Deadspin writers always fail at that.

lol found the boomer

since when do we cover extreme fetishes in so much detail on this website smh

So this is what the Deadspin staff talk about all day...

great q JR

I found this news article to be very informative, thank you. Refreshing to have a woman write for this website, imo.