Jezebel Reader Casually Pukes All Over Her Desk After Finishing A Bowl of Cereal.

I prefer milk on my cereal.

When I was an intern, working at an auto assembly plant, an operator unzipped his jumpsuit and pissed into the grate under the paint line. Just mid shift, whipped it out and peed.

;)

America, January 2017

Don’t leave me, POTUS!

NO SHITS OBAMA IS THE BEST OBAMA

I personally would only count consensual encounters.

Because women come with a used up count, as well as a use by date. How else is a man supposed to know whether his girlfriend is worth wiving?

For what it’s worth, it sounds like your eldest daughter is an intelligent, thoughtful young woman. I was so impressed by the maturity and clarity of her responses. She seems to be doing really well, and I think she’ll make an excellent grown-up.

It’s amazing that “how many you’ve slept with” is still a topic among folks. Why does it fucking matter?

Odd and Misshapen!? Where? This man is fine!

Is anyone else surprised he managed to hold it long enough to be put in the car after being tased? You’d think your body would freak out and you know...release anything it was holding right after getting shocked.

Jose Bautista is goddamned delightful and is part of what makes baseball fun to watch. I feel sorry for these unwritten rules clutching sandbags that can’t see that.

Nice to finally see a little windfall from the tail end of Ruben Amaro Jr’s tenure with the Phillies when everyone in the organization became accustomed to performing with one hand tied behind their back.

Well I’m a little turned on.

“I didn’t see the dog murdered. I heard about it. I don’t like it. But my people are passionate and some of these dogs, look they’re bad dogs, and my followers are passionate. They’re passionate about America. And a lot of it, most of it, is a beautiful thing.”