Real pain is plus sized maternity pain. Try and find clothes that fit. In a store. Good luck. I had like five things.

A barge the size of a lasagna.

You must not have seen “The Hater’s Guide to the Williams-Sonoma Catalog ”

As long as you enjoyed it who cares, right? Some people couldn’t recognize a good time even if it was splashed on their face over and over again while being fil...

From New York:

You might have said something useful, but I don't know, because you used some strange measuring scale that I hate.

The woman recording says the Pats fan is still in the overturned box of filth

I have another trick. Don’t live up north.

A lasagna the size of a barge.

Do use protection. There's gonna be a whole lot of accidental children in 9 months.

I would watch this movie if it turned out that their home was the center of something supernatural or like spy-y or something

What they should do is sue the FCC. Logging complaints isn’t going to help but a lawsuit complaining that their inaction is risking your safety just might.

Plot twist: that’s not Sofia Vergara: it’s Charo!

An underrepresented community protests:

Kids are cute, puppies are awesome, hockey players scoring goals is super...yet the inevitability of this gimmick being buried into the ground already annoys me. So I hope and expect you, the Deadspin hockey beat, will also post every time a kid holding a goal-for-puppy sign is forced to leave a game disappointed and…

Dog with a hat is a good idea

She’d better be getting three dogs....or a dog with a hat. I think either would be acceptable.

It’s also charmingly anachronistic that the dimensions of literally every MLB park are different, but that seems to bother exactly no one.