Kim Kardashian writes at a fourth grade level, according to Radar

No I think the Today Show is an actual cup of coffee.

Remember when Republicans were against Obamacare because the government should stay out of your healthcare decisions?

How are things in Pyongyang? I thought you guys' internet was out.

What about when you come over to your mom's house for Chanukkah and she tells you she wrote a rap song, even though she doesn't listen to rap or any other music made after 1970, and her rap song is all about aging gracefully and looking beautiful and includes the term "bling"? I handled it by eating a bunch of olives…

"You're at your partner's family's house and the entire thing is boring as all get-out"

"Exam rooms are no place for propaganda and doctors should never be forced to serve as mouthpieces for politicians who wish to shame and demean women."

The tiny Jewish dad crisis was written just for me. <3

KIRKLAND SIGNATURE HAS BEEN MORE FAITHFULLY EXCELLENT IN THE EXECUTION AND VALUE OF THEIR PRODUCTS THAN MY OWN FAMILY HAS BEEN WITH LOVE AND/OR APPROVAL.

Kara, maybe its because I consider you the RBG of Shade Court, but holy shit I could not love you more.

Any idiot can write a game recap if they actually watched the game. You don't need Marshawn Lynch, who obviously isn't going to give you shit to write about, to recap the game for you. It's lazy fucking journalism, they're just looking for a soundbite to throw into the piece they've already written.

When did "So, _______; can you talk about that?" become an acceptable way to pose a query in an interview? I graduated with a degree in Journalism in 2000* and feel like any one of the professors would have slapped me across the face if I ever said something like that in an interview.

YYEEEEEEESSSSSSS!

Please give us literary shade.

I vote for a literary edition but presidential would be great too!

A presidential edition of Shade Court would be the greatest Christmas gift ever. Just FYI.