All my excess live in Texas.

Oh it was a joke. I just woke up :P

This is the direct result of trying to cram the NFL into every goddamn day of the week. There’s not enough quality teams to make these unique night games worthwhile all the time. Similarly with the London games, which always seem to get the Jags.

Tim Tebow : evangelicals :: Jimmer Fredette : Mormons

I’ll be honest. I thought the “Dutch Reach” was going to be...something else. But this is good too!

M-m-morty! I’m not sexuaaa[burps]aalizing 10 year old girls, I just think they’re beautiful & suuu[burps]uuple.

Can we get the Rick and Morty guys to voice/animate this like they did with that insane court script?

Wish I could take credit for this.

Gonna be a shame when he’s on another team next year. There’s a reason this is his 4th team in 5 years. As talented as they come, but holy shit is he a crazy asshole. Absolutely loved him as a Bears fan, but he sure knows how to wear out his act fast. Have fun

Columbus: Youre Indians. This is India.

I’m pretty sure if you “capitalize in the red zone and shit” you will get fined.

I don’t know man, non-life-threatening injuries, or lifetime of guilt for having killed someone? I’d kill that fucker in an instant.

The law school is right.

Getting tackled by a girl is nothing to be ashamed of. Now getting tackled by a kicker...

Completely anecdotal, but I know of three people in my social circle (myself included) who have just given up on the NFL altogether. Quit watching this year cold turkey. And we were all fantasy football, football pool, watch all day Sunday kinds of fans.

They’ll never catch him because...

Bill James’ best line was when he said of Cecil Fielder’s self-reported 260-pound weight, “One wonders what it would be if he put his other foot on the scale.”