FALSE WRISTBAND!!1!! WAKE UP SHEEPLE.

I’m sure it was a Caps fan that threw a bracelet at Orlov too. Let’s go all-in on this “theory.”

I was there at the top of 215. The Caps fans around me were totally fine and mature. We embarrassed ourselves last night. Guy next to me was the worst offender of them all, and his 4-year-old daughter on his screaming wife’s lap looked absolutely terrified. It was a disgrace all around. Have been a season-ticket…

Ah there it is. The wristband truther. That is fucking amazing.

The rats is Florida were a goal celebration (until this year when they got infracted for it). The octopus in Detroit is a pre-game playoff tradition. These are tossed onto the ice in the same way hats are for a hat trick, in celebration. Not with malice and with the intent of hitting someone.

At least the fans’ wrist shots were more accurate than the Flyers were.

And yet even the mighty Avengers still can’t see why kids love Cinnamon Toast Crunch, part of this balanced breakfast.

Buying a Honda Insight is still the worst decision he’s ever made, a problem somehow solved by the second worst decision he’s ever made.

If I was her coach, I’d bench her for being a dick. If I was the opposing pitcher, I’d drill her for being a dick. Respect the unwritten rules of baseball.

Since the Virginia Tech guys were slow to pick this up, they are calling it the Hokie Pokey.

I for one can’t wait to take my 40 year old out of shape ass to the club tonight to try this. I can’t think of anything that can go wrong. This is gonna be my best night since I learned how to Dougie. Look out ladies, here I come.

“You won’t need genitals where we’re going...[unintelligible screaming]”

Panda would’ve swung at it. Vlad would’ve hit it.

kobe’s was a mediocre performance crammed into 50 shots. That would be like giving Ted Williams 30 atbats to hit a homer as his “last at-bat”

Thanks for stopping by, Simmons.

And then the rest of us will mention that he is a rapist.

I’m nearly a decade older than Trout. And I’m 40 pounds heavier with no real athletic ability. But despite all that, all I could think about when watching that was, “Hey, I’m 6-foot-3. If he can do it, I can do it!”

If Harper is looking to pay homage to the Nationals 2015 season, I think I know what it is...

Thanks for dropping by, Bill.