*sigh* You're right. I'm so ashamed.

I'm sticking with "ball gargle". It conveys the sense of incomprehensible speech without insulting people with naso-laryngeal deficiencies.

I am watching a couple of my relatives' kids closely to monitor the results of constant togetherness and supervision. I have some friends with younger kids (like 2 or 3) who are definitely going to have little psychos on their hands by age 15.

Yeah, you would think people could feel safer now that you're actually told where the known sexual predators are (as opposed to back then, when nobody said a peep), but the opposite is true. I blame the 24-hour news cycle and the saturation coverage of every salacious "missing kid/sex slave/etc."

Good on you! In sane moments, I remind myself that proximity is no guarantee of safety (see: the parents of "South Park" exiling their children to the wilderness to keep them "safe").

Meanwhile, Terri Nunn of Berlin wants her hair back.

We've been reading the "Ramona" books with my nine-year-old, and Beezus walks 4-year-old Ramona to the library at age 9. Ramona walks herself to kindergarten.

My husband loved this ad so, so much. He gleefully shared it on his FB feed. I must actively suppress this knowledge to stay in love with him.

My four-year-old has just started obsessing over death (her sister did, too, at about the same age). She said "it breaks my heart!" last night when she realized her balloon animal was deflating- and it led to a full sob session about how much she'll miss her big sister when she dies. I guess I didn't cry because I've…

Oldest daughter saw daddy in his undies and said "daddy has a poopy diaper." Yes, it is important!

I just love Brad Pitt's performance in this role. Hard to imagine anyone else nailing that "manic/vulnerable/scary" combo.

My rates are quite reasonable, though I draw the line at politicians. :)

I would just lie and say it was a "water birth." Technically true.

They are in the silent movies where they've always been, asshole.

I feel as though it's related to Death Panels.

You know the activists that project images onto buildings at night? I want SO much to know how to project words into the façade of the Hobby Lobby near me. Maybe something simple, like "FUCK YOU", but something funny would be even better, like a giant ominous uterus with a "KEEP OUT" slash through it.

Well, that's what uppity wimminfolk get for wanting to work outside the home, you know.

But Supply Side Jesus is a Job Creator!

Don't discount the time you give your child, even if it's not on the playground. My best memories with my girls (so far) are conversations we have at night, between bedtime stories and "eyes closed". I know they'll remember them, too (if not the conversations, at least the closeness and snuggles).