A grown woman picking on children is about as classy as going to Buckingham Palace and asking Queen Elizabeth to pull your finger.

I'll just copy and paste what I wrote on Gawker:

Check the sticker on the back...

I'm baffled by the bowtie in all getups that are not actual real-deal tuxedos. Wearing a bowtie with any outfit other than an actual tuxedo is like wearing a sign that says I AM A SMARMY DWEEB WHO WILL CORRECT YOUR USAGE.

Hmmm. I let you sleep in the backseat of my car for a couple of hours. Windows cracked.

That OB/GYN.... Just drooled everywhere. Couldn't let him near my ladybits though because he would... See things happening. Lawd have mercy.

I just found out I have to work at 5am on black friday. I normally start work at 10. I am not in retail but I support the IT functions of retail. I was praying BCO was up because at this point it is the only thing that will cheer me up.

no. guns suck.

Great. Another moron who doesn't understand the definition of "free speech." Having the right to freedom of speech doesn't inoculate you from criticism of your free speech.

"Does this mean you're going to stop calling me?"

I'm not joking or exaggerating when I say that watching this video last night led to the revelation that what I want to be when I grow up is a wild animal veterinarian. I mean, I'm 30 and broke, and probably not smart enough, so I don't really see vet school in my future, but I haven't had a goal beyond "pay bills,…

Seriously, words are meaningless when there is a pygmy marmoset in the vicinity. I went to a wildlife sanctuary that had a couple, one climbed on top of my head and fell asleep during the lecture about how owning them as pets is a bad idea. Something about how they need to be in diapers because they pee all over the…

This seems like the perfect place to post photos of my adorable ferrets. I give you Butters and Tuna:

This explains the disco ball with a note attached that got thrown through my window last night!

The dark side of arts and crafts.

Rabid homosexual activists

my wedding will actually just be the hunger games

This happened well before my time (early 1970s), but here is the story I heard: