I forget where I even found this.

NOT ALL MATHEMATICAL OPERATIONS.

Exactly. And what if it goes off by mistake? I trip and fall at least once a day. Ain't no perfect sidewalk.

In related news, 4 men with the smallest penises in the world showed up at a local jack in the box to show off their huge guns.

On behalf of those of us who cannot have gluten, I must express my disappointment that the national dialogue on breadwinning ignores those of us who fundamentally should not win bread.

A side note: This is even MORE busted than you might think. The biologist who coined the term "alpha male" has since decided his own research was flawed and has been campaigning, without success, to have the book that coined the term (which he wrote) taken out of print. So "alpha women" is based on a "scientific" idea…

I look like one of those dancing hippos from Fantastia when I am working out and I sweat like Robin Williams at the height of his cocaine years. Sexiness is the last thing on my mind.

I shall name him Squishy and he shall be mine. And he shall be my Squishy.

'wet' simply means that it has more steamed milk than milk froth. a classic cap is one third each espresso, milk froth, steamed milk.

I didn't know that political chemistry was a thing,

crap. I know it's "Callie." Must've been an iPhone correction. Now, I'm off to the newsstand by myself.

WHY... the Kartrashian vs. Old Hollywood comparison? That's like - "Hey, guys! Nutella or genital warts?" STOP TRYING TO MAKE THESE COMPARISONS HAPPEN.

I think you mean empathizing, not emphasizing, sorry to nitpick, just had trouble reading it the first time.

Oh awesome look! Another box into which women are stuffed in to based on shoddy conclusions of flavor of the week, cool kid pick and choose trend data.

Jesus fucking Christ, every time I thought I had surely reached the bottom of the barrel I scrolled down a little further and read the next sentence. Disbanding is too good for these little creeps, they should probably be forced to notify their new neighbors when they move to a new house like sex offenders.

I thought I was prepared for those lyrics. I was not.

Who could sleep at a time like this?? I'll never forget where I was during the Butt Hack of '14.

A hell full of gays and drunks sounds way better than a heaven full of reality stars. (Thieves won't be good company but at least they won't have much to steal.)

When my bf sent this to me last night he said "I find this incredibly insulting". We then went thru it line by line and before long we were both incredibly insulted. Good news is, we are much closer now than we were before!