Sorry, but if it gets cross-posted to Jezebel, the only thing that will happen is that people will point out that men have literally had their penises out on airplanes trying to get the woman (or child) in the seat next to them to play with it and that didn't cause the plane to be diverted AND that the plane diversion…

But the bright side is that you are now the American sports journalist who was banned from the 2014 Olympics for online pics of you yanking off your knob.

It's incredible how one picture of a broken door knob can send so many people flying off the handle.

"recently stripped of accreditation editor of American sports publication Barry Petcheski" is absolutely how I am referring to you from now on.

Thug.

Feldman's lucky. Had he gone home with the Payday, Zimmerman might've murdered him.

Despite not being in any sort of physical danger, Zimmerman still plans to shoot DMX.

Is consciousness immaterial? It seems like you'd have to prove that first. Just because we don't understand how our minds work doesn't mean that dualism is correct, and the fact that brain damage dramatically alters consciousness, personality, and memory would seem to imply that it is not some sort of immaterial…

You would think with all of the dbs ringing through that stadium all night, that one lone DB wouldn't have been remembered as the loudest.

Well, the Seahawks certainly aren't doing much to dispel the suspicion that they as a franchise are rampant Adderall users.

Eh, I would've liked to see more passion from Sherman after a dramatic victory like that.

I didn't dismiss anything...there has been kinja mayhem today. I am terribly worried about my impact on your daughters. I will prostrate myself at the altar of alskfja;slkdfjas;ldfkj sorry got bored.

I've got a nice lakehouse on a ton of property. Just need to shoot the guy that owns it when he shows up. :D

My entire roof is made from desks from an old middle school. I'm good.

But they were indeed going too fast, and that's why they're dead.

Sounds more like a slang term for a necrophiliac.

As the bro hit the taxi in the cold winter night,
like a prancer from Jersey, in this whack Santa fight.
The "Yo dogs" were heard, "that new Drake album's tight!"
Fox News you're correct, all these Santas are white.

Surprised to see a cocks fan at a CUSA game.

"A-Rod" Mandela spent 27 years in prison after testing positive for apartoids.