Why doesn't George R.R. Martin use Twitter?
Because he killed all 140 characters.

Woo, look at you, denying the existence of something as serious as a mental condition simply because you can't see it, wording it to seemingly put the blame on him. Fabulous work.

And my advice to you is to not be so ignorant about mental health issues. You don't choose depression. It sneaks up on you. Before you know it, it hits you like a truck, and you want out. It's not something people particularly enjoy. It feels like you're in a hole you can't crawl out of.

Spoken truly like someone who doesn't understand what depression is.

[Touches envelope to forehead]

Johnny Carson probably would have been a pretty solid deadspin commenter.

I guess it wouldn't be a Sunday without a Jet fumbling late and costing his team a game.

As a minority, I'll meet you halfway. I don't hate these fans for doing this. I'm not looking for handouts or pity or for you to feel guilt. It would be exhausting to police "guilt appropriateness" of people anyway.

Exactly. I often wonder who decides where the line is drawn between truly hateful caricaturization, and genuine role-playing. I think your point about Skids and Mudflap really frames the issue well. Like what about Comic-Con, are all those people racist? I don't think so. Or what about Halloween? If I were to…

The fact that this article conflates selective breeding with genetic modification is highly suspect, because they are completely different things. I could link you to their respective Wikipedia pages, but I don't need links to make my arguments for me.

Not wearing underwear means you definitely want to get raped, whereas wearing underwear means you only probably want to get raped.

In self-driving cars, the road rage is driver-versus-car, not driver-versus-driver. "Stupid car! Why didn't you cut that guy off!" Much better for public safety, until a car decides to defend itself. Google built in the Three Laws, right?

disabled. I'm taking back 'gimp'.

"hanging, with mr. cooper" is still the lowest-rated sitcom of all-time.

Good thing there's no black people on his team.

Doctor: I have terrible news, Mr. and Mrs. Johnson. Tina is very, very ill, with a terrible case of Rhapidosponeliosis.

Wow, Chris Brown is gonna be hella disappointed when he finds out beating cancer isn't what he thinks it is.

I think this is actually a perfect match. Who better than Chris Brown to help someone beat cancer?

Of couse blacks can be slack jawed yokels. There's millions of them all across the South. Yokeldom and jawslackitude are not color-specific.

"I felt a great disturbance in the Force, as if millions of voices suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced..