Dude, stop following around a single person and offering dumb critiques on every single old joke of theirs. It makes you look psychotic, pal.

Matt Harvey concluded the interview by asking Patrick if he'd like to buy some CutCo knives.

Third Base Sadness Brigade

"They take care of their cats," says Doug Bond, an offensive lineman from 2002 to '04 who denies receiving payments.

Not Pictured: The guy dressed as Virgil, who is sitting outside after the others refused to let him into the house

Zombies and the constitution. Not really a fan here. He's combining something that's really worn out its welcome as a cultural entity, has been interpreted every possible way, and is harped upon by a group of nerds, and the undead.

Oh, yes, more #NeverForget sentiments from another large organization that's surely in the pocket of the government. I suppose we're going to complacently accept what they tell us, despite all evidence to the contrary? Look at the photos. Watch the videos. They're DOCTORED. We're being deceived, and we need to open…

The Scariest Man Alive Wears a Cardigan

Music Shopping DUAN!

In closing, what is this infernal, glowing machine? How did I get on this electric typewriter? Please send help.

I'm a big fan of Ring Lardner's short stories, and thankfully, he doesn't always write in so heavy a dialect. It does get grating.

the hefty guy across from me yelling "WE NEED MORE DEFENSE, BELICHICK," certainly was.

Authorities tried to pull over Odom, but he continued driving eastbound

"If not literally" implies it's possible. WHO DID AARON HERNANDEZ MURDER AS A 2 YEAR OLD?

I thought I had been watching this music video but it turns out I was just looking at a photo of Popeye Jones for 5 minutes.

Considering the literal meaning of "habeus corpus," I'd say Aaron Hernandez is probably more likely to have it.

Not to be confused with Whimsypedia, which is just the win-loss records of mascot football games.

"Would you like to play poker?"
- Michael Jordan

Craisins are shockingly good in PB sandwiches.

That's nothing. My grandfather is almost 90 and he could totally bat 0 for 3 in a baseball game.