Aw, boo. Yeah, this is too clever for her, anyway.

I wonder what sorority at UMD this is. Sounds like my ex.

womp womp

Harvard prep is just getting these kids ready for Harvard athletics.

"Stats not always reflect what's real."

My favorite band. SORRY, MAGARY.

But I have such a great collection of DVDs!

Aw, come on, it's an understandable mistake. Watching the Angels, you'd think they'd have no idea how baseball scoring works either.

Sounds like a deal, says Shylock.

I'd model, but my face.

Yeah, I'm abnormally thin. No eating disorders or anything shitty like this— just dumb ol' genetics, compounded with the fact I'm the tallest dude my family has had for a long time. Again, I'm not kidding when I say my usefulness at any sport is severely limited— being 120 pounds makes me kind of reluctant to play…

Pick-up Basketball DUAN!

Woah, I want in! I promise I won't shit up the place by only posting news stories about me playing pick-up basketball, which may be way less funny than they are in my head.

That guy on Valparaiso with the goatee definitely looks like he should be someone's evil twin, right?

This photographer's red eye feature went nuts here.

Cashman also told reporters he was interested in signing Cap Anson and Mordechai "Three Finger" Brown.

During the tournament, Liberty will find themselves with no idea where they are or what to do, much like myself, right now, looking at this website.

The Wizards have actually announced plans to move everyone in the arena 100 rows back, so that, hopefully, everyone will be unable to see what is happening during games.

KOBE: "That's all. That's all."

Adams never called "bank"