curious how she “made” this from the theme song, as it doesn’t share key, lyrics, tone, rhythm or any musical characteristics at all with the theme. it doesn’t appear to even be samples messed with, it honestly sounds like a cat fell asleep on an synth keyboard.

Good article but they sort of bury the lede by not mentioning that he also played 23 minutes by wearing a fake Steph Curry jersey.

Discussing which league will be first to have all its franchises win a title made me think of the much-more-fun scenario which has to happen first: all franchises have a title except for one. Fans of that team would never be able to talk smack because “you’re the only team who has never won” would shut that…

“I will see him in the Congo this summer so him and I will talk back home with nobody around us.”

the ballpark is great and beautiful, but what a low bar it is to clear in order to be the crown jewel of arlington

Thirty-six years old and grey-bearded and still as effective as ever, Thornton

It’s extra insulting because they’re actually based in Vancouver, WA.

Leading causes of death in Russia (per capita):

897. Getting hit by a bus

I figured out the niche porn he’s referencing.

Jesus. He made Patty Mills look like Darren Rovell.

The world must know about my poop story!

The helmet, 5 minutes later:

Emmert. Ted Cruz’s face can’t take much more punishment.

Hearing Don Orsillo make a call that’s not for the Red Sox strikes me as ... intensely wrong.

Did anyone expect anything different from Serge?

DON’T SKIP THE AD THE AD IS AMAZING

Yes, that was the joke.

I composed a poem/insane person rant from all of Drew’s all caps words adding punctuation and line breaks:

Great story! I actually played for Ogden in 96-97 and saw Oggie win what I beleive is his only race ever. I had gotten to know Oggie a little, as much as you can know a mascot,throughout the summer, and he was a very sharp and witty kid. He was in school at Weber St. in Ogden and just trying to make a buck. He would…