My English teacher back when I was a sophomore in high school, who was a 60 something priest back in 2000-01, hated Gwenyth Paltrow and would take random shots at her all the time. So either he was prescient or she’s been terrible all along.

The Denny’s waitress is the best one!

Of course, they’re native to Australia.

It depends on the length of the beard 100%. If you have one of those foot long hipster beards that took six months to grow, it’s not a reasonable request. But my sister got married and asked me to shave, and I keep it fairly short and could grow it back within a couple of weeks, so it wasn’t worth putting up even a…

I’m not sure how I got on their mailing list, but I’m just glad my mailbox had enough strength to not fall apart with that thing jammed in there yesterday.

This would be a bad miss even for Rocket League

That super annoying guy from the Antonio Brown coke commercial is one of the lifeguards, fuck that

I had a post-sex Subway Reuben once when it was the open place open within walking distance. Seemed fine at the time

So I’ve been online dating fairly regularly for the last 10 months or so, maybe 20 or so first dates. I’ve had a bunch of dates where neither one of us followed up, a few where we went out a couple more times and then it fizzled without ghosting, one or two ‘I’m really busy this week’ rejections, one actual rejection…

They just lost to fucking Kansas. People say this bullshit about every single coach who ever gets fired and they never, ever go on to achieve anything more than mediocrity at another school, if even that.

Because 23 in this case means 23.8. Same reason why an eight second violation occurs at 15, not 16 on the shot clock

Hillary lost primarily because she massively underperformed in the Midwest. So to figure out how to fix that, you have asked the opinions of a political operative/PhD student from Berkeley, a journalist in Sydney, Australia, a law professor from New York, a New York politician, some guy who is so unknown he doesn’t…

Anyone who remembers Marvin Harrison for anything other than a double move that leaves the CB beat by 20 yards is lying. Unless he shot at you

Because the referees union won’t let them, they like being able to work a full time job and then get a huge part time paycheck. Take it up with Hamilton Nolan

Run is a strong word

You’ve never actual seen the type of quarterbacks who stick around in the NFL, have you? For instance, I made this screen name during a dreadful Thursday night game years ago, and guess who’s still kicking!

There’s a certain ex-football, ex-wrestler who curls your max squat weight HamNo, show some respect

I turned 21 at midnight that night. It was fall break but I was stuck at school because my car broke down, and there was pretty much no one around to celebrate with. Thanks for livening up the night Dennis Green.

You don’t cover up the model’s face

I’m currently reading When Genius Failed, a book about LTCM, a hedge fund that blew up in the late ‘90s, and it’s interesting to see the parallels in how hidden assumptions in mathematical models can lead to overconfidence in their output. These guys were all the smartest financial minds, and for four years they…