The ultimate goal is to beat the shit out of them. They’re responsible for their own fucking conversion.

stayin aliiiiiiiiiiive

Rather disheartening to see how far the USMNT selection process has fallen.

The secret to most fast food french fries is that they’re fried twice; once before they’re shipped, and a second time at the restaurant. Fries at places like In-N-Out and Five Guys, that cut their potatoes fresh at the restaurant, aren’t going to be as crisp.

The implication is staggering.

Even Dennis Reynolds thinks this guy is a fucking creep.

I prefer my method better.

I hang from a chin up bar like a possum, snooze, then when I fall onto the floor I wake up ready to go!

Is there a take on this other than Foerster is/was a dumb besotted older dude with substance issues that got fucked over massively by a stripper (presumably after some failed blackmail shakedown) who’s now trying to make it out to be some noble political act?

This is some cruel shit. Some dumb shit too. But the cruelty…

I’ve never done cocaine. Is it true people like to snort it from between [redacted]? I’ve seen people use dollar bills in movies, but never a rolled-up FOIA request.

like human platters, if that makes sense.

I’d be surprised to learn he isn’t wearing it.

How do you think Mother is looking so good these days?

He hasn’t sat down in the past 48 hours.

Each line snorted represents a white line in the flag. It’s probably the most patriotic thing he could do.

After the camera stopped rolling, Bevin turned to his boss and asked, “How was that? Was it just as you wanted?”

What a leader. Inspirational.

Grandma?

You haven’t followed the NFL for long if you’re shocked by anything.

To be fair, Trump is definitely an expert on businesses going to hell.

This is like the time me and some buddies were driving down to Buffalo to see a Sabres game. We all met up at my buddy Aidan’s house and we were about to get in the car and, with it clearly in sight, I called Shotgun. Clear rules, right?