We were surprised that a sitting university president with no direct knowledge of our case would choose to offer such uninformed and highly speculative opinions...

I smell rivalry. Can’t wait until the next time these two teams meet.

His streak of futility was impressive, but nothing compared to Generalissimo Francisco Franco’s streak of being dead.

Indiana IS an armpit.

“What do you mean you clogged the toilet with a boa?”
“It means exactly what I said fat ass.”

Huge miss take

Give everyone a major award of a leg lamp and let’s call it a day.

Hamilton,

A white man whipped in New Orleans? The times, they are a changing.

What kind of sociopath thinks trying to kill someone over a traffic infraction is equivalent to the traffic infraction?

Harmlessly passing someone in a no passing zone isn’t being an “asshole” . Trying to murder two people is.

They rape you at Taco Bell?

He cares now I bet.

Rumor has it the cheerleaders were also part of a pyramid scheme.

Baylor: “Boy, we’re finally overtaking Penn State for most odious institutional breakdown! Our ‘callousness toward victims’ ratings are unprecedented!”

https://www.google.com/search?q=conway+ma+tornado&safe=off&rlz=1C1CHBF_enUS719US719&espv=2&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwjCnuWyiPbSAhUI-GMKHWJQBcoQ_AUICCgD&biw=1593&bih=912
My dad’s hometown after a sudden tornado.
But nah, warning shouldn’t matter, show me the game!

thoughts and prayers are with you during this difficult time.

Yeah, tornados are fucking horrifying and they often kill people, mostly because folks don’t understand what’s going on and they don’t get to a safe place.

“That’s nothing. I black out for the last 6 minutes of most games.”

If I were to die in a tornado I would want my last 10 seconds to be watching 2 teams I don’t care about too.