*God’s voice booms down from the heavens*

“That’s God setting it up,” Wilson said, “to make it so dramatic, so rewarding, so special.”

You know how it’s barely Week 2 of the NFL season and you’re already sick and fucking tired of DraftKings commercials?

I grew up playing spades but am now forced to play ‘euchre’ thanks to my wife’s midwest childhood.

I must say - I’m usually not fond of the Adequate Man posts, but this is one of the good ones.

I’m sorry, are you out here arguing against saying “Hello?” when answering the phone?

Buffalo Wild Wings’ hot sauce can’t melt steel beams

I like how your go-to response to criticism is tantamount to “if you don’t like it, then why are you reading these reviews?”

People can have opinions about writing, man. And just saying “Well don’t read it then” is petulant and immature.

It’s just a coincidence then that, across the Gawker Media platforms over the past month or two, there have been about a dozen thinkpieces on Franzen in general and Purity specifically that each reach the conclusion that Franzen is a hack. Please do not pretend that Gawker does not have, if not an agenda per se, an…

Nobody gives a shit about the hateboner deadspin, gawker et. al seems to have for Purity.

We get it. Gawker Media does not like Jonathan Franzen. Time to move on.

inb4 complaints about filming vertical

The biggest problem that I had with Week 1 was not seeing enough about DraftKings or FanDuel. How much money is available? Is it real money? Who can win? Have there been a lot of winners?

The world may never know.

Praise be to Jesus for making the bad juice stop flowing into my sin mouth. I will make hits for Christ until the October crown blooms on New York’s golden head.

Gas, liquid, solid, SOLIDER.

Belichick first explained away the headset malfunctions by calling it a “pretty common” glitch,

Bold statement.

You know they were hoping to find nudes of Giselle and or Tom for their own personal research.

The text messages from the offseason? So Brady and the equipment guys cooked up a scheme before the season to deflate footballs in a game that they didn't even know they'd be a participant? I think there needs to be an investigation on the Patriot's illegal use of a time machine.