THIS IS LIKE A LEVEL 7 DICKPUNCH FROM THAT COLUMN I WROTE 12 YEARS AGO THAT EVERYONE REMEMBERS LIKE GOSPEL

holy shit, we get it deadspin

Whose grandma are you? What kind of way is that to quote an article....

It’s a popular website.

Are you and RG3 related? I’ve never seen a grown man try to protect another grown man this hard.

Why do football/soccer teams walk onto the pitch with a bunch of kids? I asked my co-worker once, he played on the Albanian team, and all I got was “tradition.” Also, his English is a bit not great.

If Barkley was on his former agent, blowing his brains out would be a bit redundant, no?

To some degree why bother? He owns the records, what he wants now is the titles and once he knows he will win he eases down. It’s safer for his body and longevity to do so.

“Also staggering math numbers? The millions you stole from us, shitbag.”

Truthfully? I had to stop a minute and realize that GM isn’t General Motors

BATTLEMAN PRONE TO VIOLENCE OUTSIDE OF BATTLECAGE

That last email: WHAT

Was it ever answered why the ESPN ticker has stories from 2009 over a 1996 game?

“LOL... I think” - Helen Kellerman

He’s not a racist, nor is he a tyrant. Any NFL coach that sees Mark Sanchez as a “commodity” is just a fucking imbecile.

Iron Man’s origin can shift from war to war, and Captain America is simply frozen until modern day, making their origins timeless.

My old roommate and I still talk about our auto-generated Madden draft picks from college. Sometimes I’ll just text “Remember Boss Matthews?” knowing that I’ll get “That dude could fuckin’ PLAY” back.

Christian Bale famously hates having to work out for movies because he just wants to be at the pub. DDL only does a movie every five years. They both commit fully (and sometimes terrifyingly) to their ROLES, but they don’t work as hard at movie acting as Tom Cruise.

I think Cruise’s stunt work is a lot more difficult than being a Method-acting nutcase. Also, Adrien Brody? Could have picked someone with a more underwhelming career?