Yeah, I’m really surprised that this miserable old bag didn’t drop the classic “shucking’ and jivin’” phrase to describe the celebration dance.

I give that trolling 9 out of 10 bridges.

We can always count on Dez to be a shining beacon of awfulness.

I mean, I’m sure, absolutely positive that this “Christian blogger” would be ok if we ladies tried to take that D on occasion when the dude wasn’t into it. And the whole time, we just imagine that faceless husband as one giant penetrating dick we ride all the way to Pleasure Town. I’m sure, absolutely positive, that…

I still hold my great grandmother on a pedestal. Bitch lived to be 102 and had an amazing quality of life up until her last two years. She smoked, drank booze, was slutty (by her own admission), and ate a ribeye steak every other week at her local supper club. She said her secret to living a long life was to not be…

It looks like my red North Face puffy I got at Ross for $45.

Fuck you Disney!!!

Inspired by the “Sexy Rosie the Riveter” costume, this year I’m going as “Sexy Eleanor Roosevelt!”

I’d like to reserve a table for two at your establishment. Do you have anything available for this Thursday evening?

You seem fun.

Oh man, I would totally hate talk to you at a party if we ever met.

Here’s a stone cold fact. Currently, all three head writers at SNL are dudes. Here’s another stone cold fact. SNL currently sucks my lady balls. Coincidence? I think not. #bringbacktinafey

They need to ride Aidy like a bat outta hell. That girl is their money shot.

I feel like with every new USMNT loss, we throw our collective hands up in the air even higher than the last loss. Each time, we wonder how we can get better. Fire Klinsmann! Clone 12 Landon Donovans!

I think more importantly, Trinity from The Matrix will be starring as Jeryn Hogarth, a lesbian attorney and potentially powerful ally to Jones, who hires Jones for cases. Momma like!

Who told her this hat was a good look? Who?!?

I love listening to the commentators. That’s Buddy Smith, and he’s the Sherrif, so you don’t mess with him and coming onto the field is Old Joe McSquintock, the local veterinarian, who also moonlights as the teams concussion doctor. Folksy!

I just put your comment into Google translate and it still doesn’t make sense.

I saw a tire pummel a rabbit once, in the Utah desert.

I bought a Honda Fit at a VW dealership recently. I went to the dealership with the sole intent of buying the Honda. That didn’t stop two separate salesman from trying to convince me, for what seemed like an hour, to buy one of their overpriced VW turds. I kept telling them, but your vehicles are terrible! I’d love to…