Turn left!

I worry about the people in your life. You have the coldness and logic of a serial killer.

I love you MRM guys. I still have a hard time understanding how when a very large football player husband, knocks his wife out cold, drags her lifeless and limp body around a hotel, and that's not called "domestic abuse." Please, explain it to me again. I love your groups perspective.

As lame and as gross as this contest is, god damn does it generate a lot of attention. One of my elitist asshole friends, who normally doesn't have time for what ever the peasants are doing, asked me if I tried any of the new flavors of chips. My mom went out and bought all the new bags so she and my step dad could…

I'm really kicking myself for not drafting Israel in my Yahoo! Fantasy War League.

Oh man. This is where I come to read dickish, cold hearted hilarious snark. Take your serious ISRAEL! HAMAS! bullshit over to Gawker.

Well said.

Who fucking says doper? Are you 80 years old? Do you refer to the internet as the internets?

For some reason, the police report included a photo of the arresting officer.

"I can't wait to hook up with guys on the football team so I can frame them for assault and rape" -Said no woman ever

31381924986

What? This isn't real, is it? Holy hell.

I agree with everything you said, but I have to defend Brandon Marshall. I work with the mentally ill, and while they can't be given a free pass to do awful shit, they do need to have a * by their crimes. Marshall has long suffered with mental illness and has somewhat of an excuse. Still doesn't mean you get to hit…

Damn. Read from start to finish. Well done.

"Sure, but most people are going to read this article and think "running a marathon is bad? Well, I may as well not run at all!" and think that's solid reasoning."

Ugh. Seriously Jezebel? Piss off. Diablo Cody, “total mean-girl shit, masquerading as feminism,”

*Walks across egg shells "Thug!"

Nothing turns me into a 2nd Amendment gun nut faster than a Canadian pussy ripping on American gun laws. Do we have fucked up gun violence here in the States? Sure. Are we prone to shooting eachother to death at car washes? Absolutely. Is Canada still a backwoods country filled with dipshits? 100%. Fuck off.

I really appreciated the "and if ya don't know-ooooo, now ya know." Such drama. Such subtlety.

I'll just leave this here..... http://www.cafepress.com/mf/21895506/re…