The best part is both of the people thought that the Mona Lisa was the Virgin Mary.

I also got this calendar.

I was given 6 flashlights and 2 solar-powered waving Mona Lisa's.

I think that will actually happen in the future. M_I_C_H_A_E_L_fuckyou666 is the funniest thing in the world.

Agreed. Esp. with the track pants.

Want coat. Want Frankenweenie.

Hogwash Hawkins.

Faygo? What about Fruitopia? I'm naming all my kids F-drinks.

My brain cannot handle this hogwash.

Wait. Sorry. "Nolly"? "Ream"? Not. Not never.

This reminds me of when my college friends and I would joke about naming our children AIM names. "These are my children, BabyGuRl98, SkImBlE_ShAnKz, and Raven925."

I agree entirely.

Not as small as you, no. But then, I'm not referring to clothing size.

Everyone's saying you're passive aggressive, so I thought I'd share this story: Once upon a time a young Bingo, Carlos rode on a plane to Arizona. I was seated next to The Biggest Bitch. So mean. I'm not even going to go into it. When she went to the bathroom I took her book and put her bookmark in the wrong spot.…

What? What are they?

Many funny parts in this here Dirtbag, but let's cut to the chase: Callie if you leave Jezebel I will cry. I can't take any more change.

"For serious, having both you and Burt as omnipresences was just too good to last. "

CONCUR!

LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAURAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Honestly. I love Burt. But at what COST?!? No one asked me*. I can't -shan't!- live without you. Fuck. Beck, did you forget that time we drove to Oprah's yard sale together? It was great! I read your essays aloud and you... well, you weren't there. But you…

I do have to say that I like a heel that can double as a serious weapon.