He likes Mike to wear the young Ivanka mask from before she had a chin.

TRUE FACT™: The sound effect of Big Bird sleeping is actually dubbed from a recording of Angela Merkel taking a nap during a particularly tedious session at the Bundestag in 1991.

Now we know how that chicken must feel.

Every tweet Trump puts out is literally an indelible component of the written history of the United States of America. Every. Single. One.

/pours one out for Carmen Sandiego

I’m not aware of any state that places limits on who can purchase a car.

we should institute annual drivers test and require background checks on any purchasing a car.

There are other hobbies.

See, and I just don't enjoy getting crazy-ass high like I used to anymore, so just nice fuzz is perfect for me.

Imma be over here with my edibles like

Can’t really say for sure what they made for you, but it’s vanilla syrup in there according to their published ingredients:

It’s the only way he will ever manage to rise above his father's bullshit.

My local paper had the number at nearly 9,000 this morning LMAO. I almost began to feel bad for her until I remembered that this miserable fuckstick was stopping kids from playing outside in their own backyards.

Has the subject of Boris’ penchant for anal beads come up yet?

“Sure you have. Now your trolling has gone into “I’m a huge fucking obvious liar!” territory.

Hey, you’re the one who claims the OP said she should have just let them do with her as they please when that isn’t what the OP wrote at all.

Sure, I know what you mean. 

Just get a Sweet Cream Vanilla Coldbrew