Theoretically, how many man points would I lose if I switched to the Miss America pageant. I mean, not that I would ever do such a thing.

Warning: The Iron Chef/Fantastic Four fan fiction is not for everyone.

Seeing the headline, I would have sworn this was a video of Eli Manning's intentional grounding.

"They were scared of my big fun bags."

"TAKE THAT CRICKET!"

Despite Everything That's Going On Around You, Rick Perry Is Still One Of The Greatest . . . Um . . . Sorry . . . Oops.

"I may have to accost Dalton in an alleyway . . . .

Yeah, I'm not sure exactly what private firm is supposed to fund physics experiments. Seems like only a government would do that sort of thing.

Shonn Greene fucked a lot of people in the ass last year . . .

If you all will excuse me, I'm going to spend the rest of the afternoon watching that "Banana Phone" video.

"He was dressed in a floral print dress and at this point in the party was super drunk."

"Ben left a willing woman to go smoke a cigar? You got to multitask, son!"

A genuine cover? Packers +2.5 over Steelers.

The article says he fondled her breast, then she ran away. So that's another runner Haynesworth couldn't bring down.

@starksgotejected: +1 Samantha Stevens

@jcongdon: The whole article seems to assume that being accused of rape = being guilty of rape. I'm not a big fan. FlowbeeBryant above pointed out that the Packers' accuser changed her story dramatically, which led to the police dropping the charges, yet the article happily lumps them in with Meggett, who was…

@jcongdon: The whole article seems to assume that being accused of rape = being guilty of rape. I'm not a big fan. FlowbeeBryant above pointed out that the Packers' accuser changed her story dramatically, which led to the police dropping the charges, yet the article happily lumps them in with Meggett, who was…

@MaverickIsAirborne: Don't know why not, after what she was doing in the hotel lobby.

@LAIceBurg: Yeah, he's taking valuable real estate away from the girls' high school lacrosse scores.

Kind of surprising they couldn't get the roof ready for the Minnesota game. By now, the Vikings should know how to prop up things that are past their prime.