@All Over But The Sharting: Word. I haven't cried while watching a football game since Shane Falco's "Chicks dig scars...glory lasts forever" speech.

I can't be the only one who heard this...did Musberger just call her "honey?"

@BarD: nothin' to do but wait, dude. It's gonna happen, don't worry. Just remember that with the possible exception of a Mr and Mrs. Magary of Minnesota in the 80s, nobody has ever sent their kid away to college not knowing how to poop on their own. Kid'll drop it when he/she is damn good and ready, not a minute…

I know, I know, nobody wants to hear your fantasy football sob story. But a special fuck you to Pierre Thomas for destroying my season, then choosing the one Saints game I've watched since Opening Night Thursday to actually, you know, do something. Gah.

@Walk Off HBP: Agreed, but he needs some new shtick. "And that will just about...(nine second pause)...COVER it for this game" is getting old.

@tastes_like_burning: Wow, that is so F#$%#$%inmg ridiculous. Like, the Bears? 11-4? No way that's real. Man, that's some f#$%#%^ed up shit.

It is precisely because this question has no answer that this take on it is so enjoyable.

@StevePerryPsychOut: Proudest night in Northwestern football history.

(Interior Simmons mansion...two small children are juggling knives while a nerdy fortysomething digs through a stack of "Inside Sports" magazines to find a dictionary. He blows the dust off and flips pages)

@lobstr:

@MarkKelsosMigraine: Totally understandable...he heard Kobe-style beef was the finest to be had.

Never been so glad NOT to see the headline of a post say "(UPDATE: w/video)"

Oh for crap's sake, Berman, you make one more Columbus Day reference, and I'm going to beat you like King Ferdinand did the Nasrid Dynasty.

@Delonte, Interrupted: +1 roll 20d

Got my Christmas goose early...has to be the biggest disparity between frequency of quote (by me, at least) and shittiness of movie.

@roland_t_flakfizer: Or does the WWL get him instead? Nobody knows...

@Armen Tamzarian: That dude went to my high school, and my mom knew his mom. Apparently, she passed out at the replay. I damn near did myself. Good guy.

Y'know, there are times when my 6 year old does things that make me so incredibly mad, that a story like this makes me hesitate to criticize, in a there-but-for-the-grace-of-god-go-I kind of way. Then I pause for .0000002 seconds and remember I'm not an abusive dirtbag who lives vicariously through his child's sports…

Meanwhile, Delonte sits forlornly at the karaoke bar, trying to decide between Laura Brannigan and Van Morrison...

Quick story to illustrate why this number is simultaneously too high, too low, and doesn't fucking matter.