It's even worse once you consider there's TWO MORE of these asshats walking around somewhere. Thanks a lot, fertility clinics!

I had no idea it was possible for an entire franchise to be built on an Indian burial ground.

Yea, also you'd really think someone from Detroit would be more accustomed to being jumped and beaten unconscious for no good reason.

James Dolan: [reads story]

That's J.Z.? I mean, I know I haven't been keeping up with current music, but he really let himself go since The Blueprint.

"Mr. Gronkowski, we're going to get an MRI. We're concerned you may have CTE."

Man, I could RULE the Baylor campus by just tossing out "rock" every time. Idiots!

He actually went to Ole Miss, but I see how you can get confused - both schools give out imaginary educations and have animosity between color-based groups

There you go. Greg Hardy likes nicknames.

That is one weak, shitty joke.

Love hearing about Michigan State and Urban decay when Detroit's not involved.

All he has to look forward now is a sub-par bowel game.

"Rearrange the letters in PENIS and you have I ESPN." — @darrenrovell

Man, to be fat enough to be hot and sweaty in 37 degrees.

[drives lane]

Typical. No matter what happens in the world, the USA is still all about the 1%.

Nelson Mandela, 1918-2013

Yeah, it's literally unbelievable.

Here's the revised tweet:

I like this process because it encourages Jacque Jones to cast one vote at a time as he moves from computer to computer at his local library.