Step 1: Drape bacon over top of pecan pie.

Peas and Artichokes?

I have zero problem with long articles; I think that we, along with lots of other places (Sports Illustrated very much included) run some terrific ones, and that Longform and Longreads are great.

Flynn can throw the ball. Tebow can't. There's your argument.

Jim Cooke has also done a GREAT job with Brett Favre. Bravo, Jim.

Why the Russell Westbrook gif?

Pretty cool that Washington honored some of the redskins who contributed to the war effort way back when. I also appreciated all the ads for that college fund that helps redskins get an education ... What? You're looking at me like I said something really offensive! Like, an ugly racial slur and not a beloved team…

so much depends

As a 'no' voter I must tell you it is this Jets fan's last and knowingly futile attempt to make this thing go-away. My phone exploded on 11-22 with a series of anniversary memes from my "friends". I stopped watching Sportcenter in the mornings around February of this year. I can't get through a Monday morning…

This is so white it's translucent.

yea the alter boy is usually on the receiving end

So some dipshit in unapproved comments? OK. Dismissed. Hadn't seen (I'm solo today, so not reading many comments), but thanks, grumpy, jerky, just-dying-to-joke-about-rape-victims guy.

At this point, everyone knows that Riley Cooper was voted most likely to secede.

Gotcha. I must have missed that.

Tebowing, Vodka Samm style.

I, for one, am absolutely fucking totally disgusted by the lack of pictures accompanying your recipe. How the fuck am I supposed to know what mashed potatoes look like? How the fuck am I supposed to know what brand of cookware you use so that I can feel appropriately jealous or superior? How the fuck am I supposed to…

Music Critic: Lamar, I'm afraid to say it's flabby, lumbering, monotonous, lacking in aesthetic value, and totally and completely devoid of flow.

Unfortunately, the last-minute replacement they called to fill in didn't do much better.

Yeah, I'm sorry. I know the long, discursive style can be off-putting to people. That's why we always post a no-frills, meat-and-potatoes, short-form version of the recipe over on my personal Kinja. Here's this week's one:

Also good, 18 year old Macallan. You know, as long as we're naming things that aren't mashed cauliflower.