The beauty of fanfiction is in the specificity. Free porn includes a lot of crap and it's mostly crap

binge reading fanfiction in a library and trying to steathily masturbate in the stacks*

Also, people voting for weddings must have fun friends. Most weddings I go to get boring fast, even with an open bar. I've been to 4 weddings in the past year (I'm at that age) and all 4 had open bars, only one was fun, but even then... not amazingly so.

Hahaha. I did ultimately opt for canceling plans. I once got out of something by taking a nap during the critical, 11th hour where I had to decide one way or the other. Then I woke up and fired off a "OMG!!!!!! So sorry! I totes wanted to go, but I fell asleep. Haha. :( "

I'm so smooth.

Oh.

...Sure it is. >.>

Listen, grandma, leave March Madness to the youngin's. I know you're confused by this new fandangle'd whatchmacallit fan fiction dowhizit blamaroo, but trust that the world is moving forward towards smuttier, crazier shit than whatever flesh-banging bore you've been fapping too for the past century.

This is getting too hard. Canceling plans at the last minute and watching a crying drunk girl yell ta her boyfriend are equally enjoyable. I can't with this game anymore, you guys. That said, FANFICTION IS WAY BETTER THAN FREE PORN. ya'll are idiots.

How the fuck is the too many cooks one over six minutes long.

Yep. Preach.

My rule of thumb is "would I waste more time on this?" Regardless of whether or not I like it more. That's how the internet works.

I have the best embarrasing FB relative though. The once murderous, short tempered, shouty, judgmental, bossy aunt who now cynically is a reiki master and no-touch masseuse. She signs everything with Ohms and Namaste. Pure gold. The angriest, most passive aggressive namastes ever.

Gifs are more expressive. I solved the dilemma for you. Instagram filters make me look good even when I'm not feeling it. Sure. Helpful. But filters don't help me tell someone they're disgusting, shut the fuck up, go die AND get owned with a single image. Gifs are amazing. And that's only a nene leakes gif.

I was too busy today to get into this madness, so tl;dr version:

WE MUST GO ON THE OFFENSIVE!

29? Clearly dementia has started to set in, you poor dear.

Oh the cheesecake! I agree it's a cake. IT'S RIGHT IN THE NAME, PEOPLE. Wikipedia isn't helpful on this one bit:

Oh yea, for sure, which is why I voted for Gchat! I use it all the time. I'm 26.

Nope, just political speech writing/talking points. You can thank Frank Luntz: