If the victim had been aware that Winston's attorney was alerted as far back as February, she would have insisted that Tallahassee Police Department immediately collect DNA and interview, at the very least, Winston's roommate who witnessed the attack.

You were on two separate teams that had that same weird odd quote as their slogan?

My dad was banned from Fenway in the 70s. His photo was up for a season or two.

Cajuns are white. They're descended from French colonists who were pushed out of the Canadian Maritimes. I'm going to assume you mean "creole," but the joke doesn't even make sense then. Don't worry, I'm not mad at you. Just...look, google and Wikipedia are helpful tools.

Well, clearly he's a woman or you're a man. It's science.

Not shown: Kevin Costner kicking himself for falling for the same trick again.

How far can you punt a football?

Hey Ricky, sativas or indicas?

you still smoking pot?

"Better run that belt's serial number..."

Mort: Hey, yeah we're about to go to break. What'dya need? ... Uh huh, I see ... Ok. Well, what's he asking for it? ... ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?! I GET UNCUT KILOS FOR HALF THAT MUCH. CALL THAT MOTHERFUCKER BACK AND SAY NO SIRREE BOB, YOU FUCKING HEAR ME?! IF HE WON'T COME DOWN TO TWO FIFTY I WILL GO OVER THERE…

Doesn't mean those fahkers from Bahstahn aren't profoundly stupid and awful. I'm sure that second guy is super tolerant and thoughtful, though!

Not that I'm defending this guy, but nodding off qualifies as "disorderly conduct?"

God, people from Massachusetts are just awful. It is the Deep South of Blue America.

elbow=hand

The people of Ohio see nothing wrong with inserting it into their mouths, which perhaps tells you everything you need to know about the Buckeye State.

Fuck You.

Nice job, NHL. A guy lay motionless, and both teams engage in a listless WWF-style faux fight for 2 minutes, which the television crew is happy to cover in great detail. Meanwhile....a guy's totally off camera, motionless. A pretty nice summary of what is wrong with the NHL: the custom of fake fighting is preserved…

That day, little Timmy became a man.

I got nothing.