This is on Jezebel because there’s no reason it shouldn’t be.

Glad to help. There’s always money in the banana stand.

So, if somebody beans Utley with a 96mph fastball, can they just say, yes, they intentionally hit him with a 96mph fastball, but it’s all part of the game and they were just playing hard and he should’ve gotten out of the way?

This is like complaining about a headline after the Superbowl. Literally. Spoilers don’t extend to sports.

its a live sporting event.....

irl choking to death laughing

I'm relieved Leo finally has as many Oscars as ThreeSixMafia.

It’s the face you make when someone accidentally drops a sexual innuendo in a super-serious office meeting and you want to laugh but you look around the room and realize you might be the only one who picked up on it... From here on out can we just call that the Stacy Dash?

I’m 100% sure she did not get the joke.

I’ve heard a lot of guys brag that if they ran, they’d trip over their own dick, but this is the first time I’ve actually seen it happen.

“...his genitals came flying out of his shorts while trying to beat five seconds.”

That's at least a 7.2. Not sure what the 40 time was.

I am right there with you.

This is good Kinja.

The point in my life where I feel so old I have absolutely no idea who this is someone change my bedpan please.

I believe the word you’re looking for is “soirée”

I’m so glad I wasn’t drinking anything when I got to your comment. It would have been the death of my keyboard...

vanilla offense

(millennial scoff) “I’ve seen baggier shirts with more flames”