You win. You are the winner.

#AnalSpring?

And that we also use our mouths to talk, and eat? I love the biologically reductive arguments against gay sex. When I lived in New Hampshire, some idiot elected official proclaimed that a key is meant for a lock, so obviously a penis is meant for a vagina (like okay, well, a hammer is meant for a nail, what kind of…

True. But you know when the revolution comes, they're going to blame it on the butt-secks.

You do. It's mostly for the Kitchenaid mixer.

By hockey, do you mean iced canes?

co-signed.

May I heartily endorse women's colleges? Sexual assault can (and does) happen there just like anywhere, but there are no frats and male assailants will not enjoy the protection of the administration because they don't go to school there.

I love this gif, especially the way the chip reappears under Bobby's chin like some mythical, eternally-reconstituting snack.

Obligatory

One of our cats likes affection from other pets...up to a point. Then it's face-punching time. The other pets have never learned exactly where the threshold is though.

SPOILER ALERT

I wish I had an occasion to hear or read this speech every day of my life. So thanks!

Unless you like to hurt the pineapples, I think you are a pineapple masochist

Yes. See also:

My ultra-conservative sister in law (who thinks I am the DEVIL) holds a lot of these views about wifing and mothering being the highest calling, etc, and I secretly have always thought that it was cover for exactly that: she's lazy and unimaginative. Totally coincidentally, she also can't hold down a job.

Hemingway, you dummy, the government's not my boyfriend, he's my Uncle Sugar, with whom I have a creepy, sexualized vibe because he buys me my birth control pills.

this is horrifying and I'm so sorry. I actually worked at Dartmouth during that time and while I wasn't aware of what happened to you, part of why I left was that Dartmouth was an environment where something like that could happen and never make the papers or see the light of day.