It’s enough to make your eyes rain.

Thank you for reminding me that I needed to cancel my membership. I actually willingly signed up for it because becoming a new member came with an incredible deal on lingerie - like an 80% discount. I like the products so I went along with it for a few months by just setting a calendar reminder to “skip” the $50…

YES! Where is my Atomic Blonde 2?

This is where I must recommend the movie Bad Teacher in which he is tremendously off-putting, but intentionally (and hilariously) so.

Let’s not get ahead of ourselves. First he needs the opportunity to go to a good college where he can become a campus rapist. 

HAHAHAHA From his cold, dead, botoxed hands. 

Well, if there’s a problem that death threats won’t solve, I haven’t found it.
/s

Came here for this. Was not disappointed. 

I do not agree:

It wasn’t supposed to be a sports bra, but it ended up fitting like one

YES to the Knix uniboob issue. I felt like such a chump for buying that bra based on relentless promoted posts in my social media feeds that it has scared me off of the “disrupter-type” clothing brands altogether.

From the indictment:

next time, just send a different, better book along with the link to the Brooks book on Amazon so the recipient know what to officially thank her for. Some non-idiot author will thank you!

That’s why you never leave the door open

My dad poured milk for us into glasses that had a few drops of blue food coloring. Voila! Blue milk on April Fools Day! No one cried, but we did frequently plead for a repeat performance. My dad will never win Dad of the Year and even he is better than these schmoes. 

Did these fools go to the Michael Scott school of parenting?

You’re just fishing for compliments 

Does this mean that a man cannot be sexist if he is married to a woman? 

Poorly-washed old man

Perfection.